No time for creativity

Sometimes i feel as though the easiest thing to do is also the hardest.
i am not myself but perhaps i am more myself than ever before.
i miss people but i am so easily and willingly detached from them.

So I ponder the latest un-original thought and try to pass it off as my ingenuity.
careless, i trample over dreams and delights of others to satisfy a selfish desire.
Wrapped; both delicatly and tightly, up in me.
I would like to think better of myself but, I am thief, unworthy.
I take without contributing and waste more than I use.
But not to you, though. I am not these things at all.
I come accepting this need as oppossed to my ever present want.
For oddly my desire is the same as yours but I only go about it in the wrong and disgraceful manner.
You go about the same want but you chase it on an upright and just path.
if it were not for the upright and just path you were able to follow I would've had nothing to strive for.
which makes the path i follow seem dark and disgusting.
the path you follow seems easy, is it really that easy or have you been practicing on it for a long enough time.
because there were things that i was once good at but i had practiced them for a very long time. But now they seem gray and faded and worthless to me now. What a waste.
To see those things now as boring and pointless would have astonished the younger me.
Vanity and pride are not just things inside they're there for anyone who chooses to see.
I have a problem and it is evident to me now. hollow shell break, and let me free to know and experience things previously unknown and give way so that legs now made limber can dance a different dance unseen by anyone before.

These are not my thoughts: Part 1

This is a poem I wrote in the Prayer Chapel and when I was done writing it, I looked it over and I literally said, "What the hell, do I really think this?" And after prayer, some much needed self-examination, and reading the Bible, I said, "No, these are not my thoughts!", so thus the title. The poem is pretty straight-forward.

I wonder. I plunder. I kill. I steal.
Tell any lie I can, so I can make a deal.
I cheat. I swindle. I skim from the top.
Everything I think I need. And everything I want.
I think there is a problem here, but you know,
I'd rather be blind.
Than trying to count my sorrows and wasting
my minutes crying.
There is actually a simple bliss
that can only occur in selfishness.
I'll close my eyes and cover my ears
live in the darkness but, live without fear.
Not because I serve something of great significance
but, rather because I choose to live in ignorance.
If I choose to shun the light,
it is possible, I just might.
Escape the judgment that I feel,
done by those who claim they're real.

Untitled Poem

I wrote this March/April of 2008, I was really upset with how all my efforts to serve God seemed so futile. This poem was written because I needed encouragement in my walk with Christ and wasn't finding. I thought about what I would tell someone who needed the kind of help I needed and this is what happened. It get's kind of preachy here and there.

Hope was not attained by one, so I
Dropped to my knees, I became his son.
Please become his lovely daughter,
A truly righteous and beautiful follower.
Answers come to those who seek,
Humble your heart and become meek.
We want these things we should not have,
Submit your desires fully to his plan.

Holiness sought is holiness gained
give to Him all your pain
put it in a box
at the foot of the cross... and leave it there.

If pain is something that's entangled
cut it out, so you're not strangled
to death,
take in His life-giving breath.

Cut out the branches of that deceitful vine,
throw them in the fire and leave them behind.

Jesus Said,

"I am the True Vine and you are the branches",
so I'll praise him with shouts and praise with dances.

Be fruitful and grow
or to the fire you will go.



Special Note: The 'lovely daughter' line was not about any woman in particular.